School Wars Episode XI: It Finally Comes Together
by QUACK Inc
Summary: The final episode of School Wars (where characters in Star Wars go to/work in a school), two new students disrupt the peace and calm the school has had for years. But what was so special about these two, and is there a way to stop them from wreaking havoc on the school they know and love? Copyright QUACK Inc 2016. All characters were taken from Lucasfilm Ltd.'s Star Wars.
1. Mile's Version

Rey patted her hair in the mirror, making sure her three buns were straight. She turned to her nonexistent mother to ask how she looked, so she had to make do with a "PEEP!" of approval from BB-8. He sounded upset.

"I know, BB-8. I'll miss you too. But I'll be back from school before you know it. Okay?"

BB-8 didn't look too happy, but he rolled to the door, making sad little peeps all the way, and watched as she climbed into her speeder and zoomed away, leaving him in a cloud of dust.

Then he gave an evil snicker. Now he could play with her action figures all day.

Finn was just clicking his locker (combination FN-2187) when he heard a loud clanking a few lockers down. There, wrestling with her locker, was Princess Leia! The most popular girl in school! He hurried forward and tapped her on the shoulder. The girl whirled around and punched him in the stomach. She was, as it turned out, _not_ Princess Leia. She had three buns instead of two. What was that, some kind of new fad?

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" she squealed. "I'm just a little high-strung today! Are you okay?"

"Fine, just fine," Finn wheezed, trying not to barf. She had punched right through his armor. "Um . . . do you need help with your locker?"

"No. I can do it myself. Here –" she banged the lock with a wrench. " – hand me that thingy."

"Um . . . this?" he tossed her the metal widget.

"No! The black one!"

"This?"

"No. The _pointy_ black one."

"This one?"

"No."

"Here?"

"No! Honestly, do you know _anything_ about machines?"

"Apparently not."

Finally, she kicked it. The locker swung open.

She glared at Finn, as if he were the cause of her problems. "What's your name, and why are you wearing that?"

"Finn. Um . . . because I'm cold?" _Oops,_ he though, _I should have taken off my stormtrooper clothes before coming to spy on the school._

"Well, take it off. You look ridiculous!"

"Gee, thanks." He yanked it off and stuffed it in the trash compacter.

Principal Yoda felt very, very strange. Well, he was always strange. But today felt weirder than usual. Something was wrong with the air, the energy . . .

"Oh no," he whispered. The new kids. Why hadn't he realized? "Quantum Astrophysics, it is!"

"Eh?" Bib Fortuna, who had fallen asleep in the detention chair, woke up.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

An announcement boomed over the : "Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Rey (uh, I don't know your last name but it's probably Skywalker), and Finn (you don't have a last name either), please come to Principal Yoda's office right away."

"Anakin Skywalker?" Leia wondered aloud, "Luke, is that a cousin of yours or something?"

Luke shrugged. "I have no idea. Never heard of him. Let's just go, I guess."

"Uh-oh," Han said, "Old Principal Yo probably found out about the speeder bike incident!"

Padme walked into Principal Yoda's office, followed by Anakin. Rey and Finn were already there, and Leia, Luke, and Han were on their way.

 _I hope he doesn't make me eat that root stew again,_ Luke thought, entering the dim, green room.

The air shimmered. Reality itself was quivering. Everyone stared at each other – something was very wrong.

"Wrong, something is." Yoda voiced their thoughts, appearing from the corner. "Completely kablooie, the space-time continuum is! You –" he pointed a bony green finger at Han, "should not be here –"

"Ouch."

"—at the same time as you!" He pointed to Anakin. "and you –" he pointed at Luke, "—shouldn't be here at the same time as you!" Rey.

Everyone was silent (for once). Old Principal Yo was right. Something was terribly wrong.

"I've got a bad feeling about this . . ." they groaned in unison . . .

BOOM!

The school exploded, quantum forces colliding with each other, and then all was silent.

A figure, enshrouded in a black cloak, rose from the ashes of what had once been the school. His lips curled into a grin. The scheme had worked! It had all worked!

"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha . . ."


	2. Carson's Version

The bell rings on a typical Monday morning. Han was pelting the squirrels, and Leia was yelling at him to stop; Luke and Biggs were making plane sounds; Padme and Anakin were in some classroom doing who-knows-what; and Lando was in the bathroom for the fifth time already.

Like I said, a typical Monday morning.

Until the new girl showed up.

She came with Principal Yoda as everyone was getting ready for Home EC with Dexter. As welcome as the relief was, for some reason the class felt something uncomfortable about this new girl.

"Wipe those looks off your faces, you should. A new girl for your class, I have. Rey, her name is."

Silence met with the short principal's words.

Principal Yoda ushered Rey into the classroom and shut the door behind her.

More uncomfortable silence. Somebody coughed. Rey shifted on her knees nervously, hands clasped behind her back.

And then the migraines came.

Soon the whole class was on their knees, clutching their foreheads, and moaning in agony.

"what's going – URG – what's going on?" Luke yelled over the moaning.

"I don't – GAK – I don't know!" somebody yelled back.

" _Self-destruction initiated_ ," a pleasant female voice filled the room.

"What the heck was that?" Han groaned.

" _Ten seconds remaining_ ," continued the voice.

Leia, amid groans and moans, suddenly figured it out.

"Rey! It's too much strain on the quantum physics that keep this school up!

SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"

" _Five seconds remaining, four, three, two, one . . ._ "

"Oh, I got a bad feeling about this!" the whole class screamed as the countdown reached zero.

And then the whole entire school exploded in a fiery blast.


End file.
